Grieving What Could’ve Been: The Breakup That Broke Me Open
- High Value Woman
- Oct 27
- 3 min read
We talk about grief like it belongs only to death. But there’s another kind of grief that’s quieter - one that doesn’t get flowers, casseroles, or sympathy cards.
It’s the grief of what could’ve been.
It’s the heartbreak that comes when the future you imagined falls apart - the relationship you thought would last, the friendship that fades, the dream that slips away, or even the dog who was your anchor through every storm.
It’s the invisible grief that no one warns you about. The one that doesn’t make sense to anyone else but still feels like it cracked you open.
The Grief That Doesn’t Make Sense
When I left Arizona and moved back to Colorado, everything I’d built fell apart at once - relationships, community, even my sense of identity. Then, just a week after I arrived, my soul dog, Goliath, passed away.
It felt like I had been stripped bare. No community. No relationship. No familiar sense of home.
And as the months passed, I learned something that changed how I see grief forever: Grief isn’t linear.
It doesn’t follow a schedule. It doesn’t ask permission. It arrives in waves - sometimes soft and quiet, sometimes crashing so hard you can barely breathe.
And when we try to minimize it, suppress it, or distract ourselves from it, it doesn’t disappear. It just hides—waiting for the next quiet moment to resurface.
Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Forgets
What I’ve learned through my own grief and through the women I coach is that the body keeps score long after the heart tries to move on.
Unprocessed emotions show up as fatigue, anxiety, tension, brain fog, or even chronic pain. Our bodies are always talking to us - through tight chests, shallow breaths, or numbness that feels like nothing at all.
When we let those sensations move - crying, shaking, breathing, trembling - we’re not falling apart. We’re actually letting our body complete the process that our mind tried to avoid.
The Hidden Layers of Grief
Sometimes, a breakup isn’t just about that one relationship. It reopens every old wound you thought you’d healed - the abandonment you felt as a child, the betrayal you tried to forgive, the parts of yourself you silenced to keep the peace.
That’s why it can feel so big. You’re not only grieving them - you’re grieving you. The version of yourself who loved deeply, tried her best, and still had to let go.
But here’s the truth: that grief is not punishment. It’s initiation.
It’s your body’s way of saying, “It’s time to release what no longer fits.”
A Doorway Back to Yourself
Grief isn’t something to fix - it’s something to feel.
And when you stop trying to get over it, you start to grow through it.
Because the grief that almost breaks you can also build you - if you let it. It’s not the end of your story. It’s the bridge between who you were and who you’re becoming.
So if you’re in that in-between place - lonely, raw, or trying to make sense of emotions that won’t settle - please know this: You’re not broken. You’re breaking open.
Your Next Step: From Grief to Growth
If something in this resonates - if you’ve been carrying a loss, a heartbreak, or a lingering “what if” - you don’t have to carry it alone.
On my free Magnetic Connections Call, we’ll unpack what’s been weighing you down and explore what it looks like to rebuild from a place of clarity, confidence, and deep self-trust.
This isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you listen to what your body and heart have been trying to tell you all along.
Because sometimes, grief isn’t the ending - it’s the beginning of coming home to yourself.
Comments