Owning Your Story: Breaking the Chains That Hold You Back
- High Value Woman
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
What happens when the people who should have protected you, silenced you instead? When the secrets you carry become chains that keep you repeating the same painful patterns?
In my recent podcast conversation with Ada Lloyd — known as The Emotional Chain Breaker — we talked about what it really takes to reclaim your power after sexual abuse and betrayal, and how the courage to own your story can set you free.
When Silence Hurts More Than the Abuse
Ada shared her own heartbreaking story of telling her mother — after years of dropping breadcrumbs — that her father was sexually abusing her. Instead of safety, she was met with denial. Ada’s mother chose silence and protection of the abuser over the child who needed her. It’s a story that, sadly, so many survivors relate to.
When the people we trust deny our pain, they layer on new trauma: guilt, shame, self-doubt. We internalize the idea that what happened was somehow our fault — that we’re unworthy of protection, of safety, of love.
Why We Stay Trapped in Old Patterns
Ada explained that for so many of us, abuse and dysfunction become our “normal.” If you grow up surrounded by abuse, betrayal, or manipulation, you unconsciously seek it out — not because you want it, but because it feels familiar. It’s a hard truth to face, but it’s also a key to freedom. Once we see the pattern, we can choose to break it.
“You’re never responsible for someone else’s choices,” Ada said. “But you are responsible for how you allow them to impact your life.”
Rewiring the Voices in Your Head
One of my favorite parts of our conversation was Ada’s example of her client Jodi — a woman who carried the words of a third-grade teacher with her for decades: “You’ll never be successful because you’re not good at math.”
Jodi went on to become a CPA — but she never identified as one. That lie was buried so deep it silently dictated her sense of worth. Ada helped her prove the lie wrong with tangible truths. And when we do this work — tracing our inner critic back to its source — we reclaim our power from the voices that never belonged to us in the first place.
Owning Your Story: You Have the Power
I’ve learned in my own journey that the real healing happens when we stop hiding the parts of our story we were told to bury. The shame, the guilt, the fear — they lose their grip when we speak the truth.
Ada reminded me that forgiveness isn’t saying “it’s okay.” Forgiveness is saying, “I refuse to carry this weight any longer. It’s not mine to hold.”
Every time we speak our truth, every time we say “This is what happened. This is who I am. And this is who I choose to be now” — we break another link in the chain.
Your Story Is Yours to Own
You are not broken — you are becoming. Your past doesn’t define you. You have the power to choose what stays, what goes, and who you’re becoming.
If you’re done settling for relationships, patterns, or beliefs that keep you stuck, you’re not alone. This is the work we do in my world every day — nervous system work, somatic healing, breaking old cycles so you can stand in your truth.
✨ Reach out when you’re ready — you don’t have to do this alone.
If this landed for you, share it with someone who needs to know they are not alone. And remember: You have the power.
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