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The Truth They Wanted Me to Bury: Reclaiming My Power After Sexual Abuse

I wasn’t supposed to tell these stories.


Not because they aren’t true. But because they make people uncomfortable. They ruin reputations. They disrupt carefully constructed illusions. They expose the people we were told to respect—family members, authority figures, even preachers—for who they really were.


But I’m not here to protect the image of anyone who hurt me.


I’m here to tell the truth. And if you’ve experienced sexual abuse—if you were silenced, disbelieved, or gaslit—I want you to know: you are not alone. Your truth matters. And you have the right to speak it.


Abuse Doesn’t Expire—and Neither Does Accountability


It doesn’t matter how long ago it happened. Whether it was decades ago or last week, abuse leaves a scar that time doesn’t magically erase. I still carry it. In my body. In my relationships. In the way I used to shrink myself to make others more comfortable.


I’ve heard all the excuses: “He’s old now. Let it go.” “Don’t ruin the family.” “It would destroy his wife.” “You must have misunderstood.”


No. He did it. They did it. And I’m done pretending otherwise.


When we refuse to hold abusers accountable, we retraumatize the survivors. We tell them, again and again, that their pain is less important than someone else’s comfort. We silence the very people who need to be heard the most.


I Regret Staying Silent


I once stood at a funeral, listening to people talk about what a “wonderful man” the abuser was. He was a preacher. A father. A grandfather.

But I knew the truth. And I didn’t say it.

I regret that.

I regret not getting up and saying, This is not who he was.


But I also forgive myself for staying silent then—because I was doing the best I could at the time. And now? I’m doing better. I’m using my voice. Loudly. Publicly. Unapologetically.


You Don’t Have to Remember Everything to Heal


Some of my memories are crystal clear. Others are shadowy fragments. That’s how trauma works. It protects you in the moment, and sometimes even years later. But you don’t need full clarity to heal. You don’t need anyone’s permission to call it what it was.


If your body said no—if you felt unsafe, ashamed, or betrayed—it wasn’t okay.


We Are Not Broken—Our Patterns Are


As high-achieving women, we’re taught to endure. To work harder. To keep the peace. To survive. But that survival mode keeps us stuck in cycles of shame, silence, and self-abandonment.


This is where it ends.


You don’t have to earn love by tolerating abuse. You don’t have to stay silent to protect people who wouldn’t protect you. You don’t have to carry this alone.


Reclaiming Safety & Power Starts Now


This post is based on the first episode in a 4-part podcast series: Reclaiming Safety & Power After Sexual Abuse. In it, I share my own experiences—stories I’ve never shared publicly before—and I hold nothing back. Because the truth is the only thing that sets us free.


If you’ve lived through something similar, I see you. I believe you. And I’m standing with you.

Your voice is your power. Your truth is your birthright. And your healing is yours to claim.



Ready to rewrite your story? Learn more about The 90-Day Reinvention coaching program.


 
 
 

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