Why Butterflies Are Sometimes Warnings, Not Love

High Value Woman
Jun 2
2 min read

Have you ever felt butterflies in your stomach and called it love—only to discover later that it was actually anxiety?

If so, you're not alone. In my powerful conversation with Corissa Stepp, Holistic Trauma Recovery Coach and founder of the Savvy & StrongHer Community, we dive deep into why so many of us misread our body's signals after surviving narcissistic abuse—and how we can start tuning back in.

Misinterpreting the Body’s Warnings

Corissa shares a truth many of us wish we knew sooner: those butterflies are often your nervous system signaling danger—not chemistry. In the early stages of a relationship, especially with someone emotionally unsafe, your body can go into a stress response (fight or flight) that mimics excitement.

But we’ve been conditioned to chase that feeling. We grew up believing love was transactional: “If I perform well enough, they’ll love me.” So we mold ourselves into who we think they want—funny, agreeable, attractive—hoping to receive connection, only to end up more disconnected from ourselves.

“They fall in love with a version of me I performed—and then I wonder why I still feel invisible.” – Corissa Stepp

The Nervous System Doesn’t Lie

After trauma, especially narcissistic abuse, our internal compass gets warped. That’s where somatic healing becomes crucial. Instead of overriding our bodies, we start listening to the cues: tightness, nausea, dread, or that subtle pullback when something isn’t right.

This isn’t paranoia. It’s protection.

And Corissa encourages us to start rebuilding trust with those inner signals. To stop making excuses for red flags and to honor the internal "no"—even if we don’t fully understand it yet.

Love Isn’t a Performance

Many survivors become addicted to the chemical highs of toxic relationships—the dopamine of love bombing, the intermittent validation. But real love feels safe, not anxious. It feels calming, not chaotic.

That means no more “earning” affection. No more becoming someone else just to be loved.

Instead, it’s about becoming you again.

“Your body is a receptor. It’s constantly receiving truth. We’ve just been taught to shut it down.” – Corissa Stepp

Healing Through Intuition and Alignment

One of the most beautiful parts of our conversation was how Corissa integrates spiritual tools like Human Design and sound healing into her work. She describes Human Design as a blueprint for understanding how your intuition works, how your energy flows, and how to make decisions that are truly aligned with your soul—not your fear.

This blend of science and spirit allows survivors to not only regulate their nervous system but also rediscover their essence.

Reclaiming Self-Worth, One Boundary at a Time

Whether it’s walking away from an unsafe relationship or telling your mother no for the first time in your life, Corissa reminds us: setting boundaries with people who benefited from our lack of them will trigger pushback.

They may call you selfish. They may say you’ve changed. And you know what? You have—and that’s your power.