As we enter the holiday season, there is a mixed feeling of joy and apprehension. This time last year, I was preparing to spend Thanksgiving in Ouray, CO and Christmas in Palm Springs, CA. I had been through a painful breakup in the fall and didn't want to be home alone during the holidays. It was good for me to travel somewhere and distract myself. This year, I am in a new relationship and preparing to start becoming part of a new family. This has been stressful because my past experiences of holidays have not been peaceful. I grew up in a tumultuous household and then had dysfunctional relationships with my in laws as an adult.
As I remember the stress of dealing with not only a narcissist but also his narcissistic or dysfunctional family, it's hard to adjust to the possibility that this new family dynamic will be different. I'm way out of my comfort zone even though this is a good thing. All I've known is chaos and drama on holidays so having a calm peaceful day is foreign to me. I'm really working on laying my apprehension and triggers aside to allow myself to have a good day.
I did a podcast earlier this week on holidays with a narcissist and recorded another one for next week about generational trauma and narcissistic families. This is a hard time of the year for many particularly if dealing with dysfunctional family dynamics. Thinking about my past experiences has helped me to come to the realization that I not only received abuse from the narcissist but his family as well.
As I enter this new holiday season, I am hopeful that things will be different. I will finally find a family that accepts me and supports me. A place I can be myself and be accepted. I am hoping for a different kind of holiday - one filled with joy and peace instead of chaos and stress. I wish each of you a wonderful holiday season.
Feelings of overwhelm or stress due to family members visiting can be difficult. If you are feeling stressed this season and need support, do yourself a favor and give yourself the gift of peace. Book a one-on-one session with me and receive a special holiday rate. We may not be able to change who is coming to visit, but we can work together to develop a self care plan to decrease your stress and overwhelm over the holiday season.
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