Hello, friends! Happy Valentine’s Day!
For so many people, Valentine’s Day and the month of February are all about love. But I want to invite you to consider a new perspective: What if every day was a day of love?
The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have
The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. As a relationship coach, I help women fall in love with themselves so they can attract their dream partner. But before we can create a loving, fulfilling relationship with someone else, we have to truly know, love, and honor ourselves.
This means getting clear on:
Who we are
What we like
What our values are
What our boundaries and standards look like—and how to maintain them
True self-love is not about being conceited or selfish. It’s about honoring yourself—choosing what’s best for you, even when it’s difficult.
Loving Yourself Enough to Walk Away
One of the hardest but most powerful acts of self-love is knowing when to walk away from someone who repeatedly crosses your boundaries. A red flag can be an early warning sign, but a repeated red flag? That’s a dealbreaker.
When you’ve set clear boundaries, communicated them, and the other person refuses to respect them, you have a choice: Do you stay and accept less than you deserve, or do you love yourself enough to walk away?
Loving yourself means showing up for yourself—no matter what. And that includes choosing your well-being over staying in a situation that diminishes your worth.
Dating Yourself: The Key to Self-Discovery
I’ve learned a powerful lesson from John Kim’s book, Single on Purpose: You can’t love someone you don’t know. So, get to know yourself first.
One way I do this? I take myself on a date every week.
When I’m single, I’m great at it. When I’m in a relationship, not so much. But I’m realizing that even when in love, we must continue nurturing our relationship with ourselves.
Spending time alone is a beautiful way to connect with yourself. Take yourself out to dinner, go for a solo walk, enjoy a concert or show. The more you invest in yourself, the more you attract the right kind of love.
Love is a Daily Practice
Many of us get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship—the dopamine rush, the thrill of connection. But maintaining self-love in a relationship is key to avoiding unhealthy attachments and codependency.
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, ask yourself:
Am I making time for myself?
Am I upholding my boundaries and standards?
Am I honoring my own needs and desires?
How I’m Celebrating Valentine’s Day
This year, I’m celebrating differently. I’m single, and instead of feeling bitter or waiting for someone to make the day special for me, I’m making it special for myself.
I bought a ticket to a local comedy show—just for me. I’ll enjoy a nice dinner beforehand, and if I end up being the only single person there, so what? I love myself enough to enjoy my own company.
Last year, I spent Valentine’s Day with friends for a “Galentine’s” celebration, which was amazing. But this year, I needed something different—something just for me.
Choosing Yourself, Over and Over Again
In the past year, I’ve experienced profound transformation. After my last breakup, I realized I’m not the same person I was before. And because I’ve changed, some of the relationships in my life no longer resonate.
I now use a simple measuring stick for friendships and relationships: Would I trade my lifestyle for theirs? If the answer is no, I no longer seek their advice or emotional validation. Not because they’re bad people, but because they are on a different path. And that’s okay. I wish them well, but I’m choosing myself.
Valentine’s Day, Every Day
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, I challenge you to celebrate love every day—starting with yourself.
💐 Buy yourself flowers.
🍫 Treat yourself to chocolate.
💌 Write yourself a love letter.
You don’t have to wait for someone else to make you feel special. You are already worthy of love, just as you are.
And if you’re in a relationship? Continue loving yourself. If your partner isn’t the type to buy flowers or write love notes, let them love you in their own way—but also show up for yourself.
What’s Your Word for This Year?
Every year, I choose a word that defines my personal journey. This year, my word is “unstoppable.”
What’s yours?
Maybe this is the year you say YES—to yourself. Maybe this is the year you decide to finally prioritize self-love.
Because when you love yourself first, everything else falls into place. 💖
Happy Valentine’s Day! How are you celebrating yourself?
Comments