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Writer's pictureHigh Value Woman

Pruning the Tree



It's been six months since I gave my ex the boot and three months since I've declared this to be the year of finding my joy. In the past few weeks, extraordinary things have been happening in my life.


I had to do an assignment for my coaching course that required me to write down the traumatic events that have happened over my lifetime. I then had to submit an assignment evaluating the patterns of trauma and how that has affected me in present day in my personal and professional life. It was a difficult assignment that I took two weeks to complete so I could process what I discovered about myself. What I figured out was surprising. I'm starting to see patterns of behavior and determining the root cause. This course has brought on a lot of inner healing and I've just scratched the surface of the curriculum.


As well, I also went on a camping trip with my dog around that time. I had three days to relax and simply be. I left my computer at home and enjoyed a road trip that included quiet and solitude. I sat by the lake just thinking or reading a book. I needed that time to re-energize and contemplate where I wanted my life to go.


Since then, I have been manifesting like crazy. First, a local musician approached me and asked me to sit in with him on a regular basis. For non-musicians that's lingo for being a guest singer. I was thrilled and knew it was the door I'd been waiting for. The opportunity to regularly do paying gigs and sing more often. Last week, we had a discussion about formally bringing me on and the two of us forming a duo for pay. We are currently working on a song list and when that's final and we both know the songs, it's game on. I love music and have pursued it off and on for years but I didn't make a 100% commitment to pursuing it and not letting others get in the way until six months ago.


As well, my geriatric dog has been sick a lot. This meant I was spending a great deal of time at the vet on a regular basis. During these visits, I developed a rapport with the staff. Last week, my dog's vet offered me a job and I accepted. I have been looking for a new job for several months. What is miraculous about this is that I previously worked at a vet and loved it but had given up on being able to go back into the profession because the pay is often too low. I was able to accept this position because the pay was competitive. Yesterday was my first day and I was so thrilled to be back to petting dogs and cats during my work day. Animals are another passion of mine and I'm grateful to be back in the industry. In addition, I feel the Universe placed me there because my dog is getting older and his health is deteriorating. When I lose him, I'll be surrounded with people who can support me in the way I needed to be supported in my immense grief.


As well, right around the time of the trip, I came across a podcast that talks about dealing with our childhood wounds so we can be a whole person while dating. I shifted my focus from looking back at what my ex did to looking forward to how I can heal my wounds and be the person I want to attract. I signed up for a dating app so I can practice date. If I find someone healthy along the way, that's great, but the main objective is to date differently. This means being more discerning and not trusting too early. It means not being attached to the result and letting the relationship form on its own in a slower timeframe instead of rushing the result or being all in too soon.


Ever since I broke up with my partner and got rid of the dead weight in my life, I have been moving towards a more rewarding life. After every breakup, I've always used that experience to evaluate my role and how I could do better, but this time the healing has escalated. I feel like I'm starting to not just feel better but feel peace. My mantra of finding my joy has propelled me towards creating the life I've said I've wanted for years. Like pruning a tree so that healthy branches can grow, I have pruned unhealthy relationships and habits from my life which has brought a richness to my life I've never experienced before. My life is not perfect and I still have a long way to go to get where I want to be, but as of this week, I have removed the things that were getting in the way of my joy. All aspects of my life are now about moving forward.

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