Creating the Higher Self After Abuse

“You’re not broken—you’re becoming.”

This was the heartbeat of my recent conversation with transformation mentor and speaker Stephany Ann—a woman who not only survived narcissistic abuse, but used that pain as fuel to rise into her highest self.

In this episode of You Have the Power, we didn’t just talk about healing—we talked about evolution.

From Surviving to Creating

Stephany shared the raw moment that sparked her transformation: sitting on the floor of her sister’s bathroom, asking, “How did I get here again?” After years of advocacy work and deep knowledge of domestic violence, she found herself entangled in her second narcissistically abusive relationship.

“It didn’t look like abuse,” she said. “There were no bruises. It was psychological, emotional—and it shattered my sense of self.”

But that moment became a turning point. Instead of staying stuck in “Why me?” she shifted into “What now?”

“I realized I wasn’t just here to survive. I was here to create.”

The Power of Imagination

One of the most moving parts of our conversation was when Stephany described how she began to reclaim her power: by imagining and writing the version of herself she wanted to become.

She asked: Who is the highest version of me? Then, she wrote it out—her victories in court, her peace, her abundance, her voice on stages across the world.

“I started becoming her by writing her.”

This wasn’t a passive dream. It was a daily practice. Through journaling, visualization, and gratitude, Stephany rewired her beliefs—one thought at a time.

Embracing Discomfort, Facing Truth

Stephany didn’t sugarcoat it. This journey wasn’t easy. It was uncomfortable, uncertain, and sometimes isolating.

“Change happens in discomfort. Growth happens when you’re willing to face your fears and stop waiting for someone else to change.”

Her words hit deeply. Because we’ve all waited. Waited for someone to validate us, rescue us, or change. But the truth? The only person we can transform is ourselves.

Rewriting the Story

We talked a lot about the stories we carry—especially the ones tied to our trauma.

Stories like:

• “I’m too broken.”

• “I’ll always struggle as a single mom.”

• “I can’t trust myself.”

Stephany challenged each of those and rewrote them. She consciously created a life that felt aligned, empowered, and peaceful. Not perfect—but hers.

And in doing so, she set an example: not of perfection, but of possibility.

“We are not becoming someone new. We are revealing who we’ve always been.”

Final Words: Trust Your Timing

Stephany’s closing reminder was both honest and gentle:

• Healing is not a race.

• Transformation is not a competition.

• Growth doesn’t always look like progress on the surface.

“Sometimes it feels like you’re walking through quicksand,” she said, “but even baby steps are steps forward.”

✨ If you’re ready to stop surviving and start creating…

Begin with one question: Who am I becoming? Then write her. Speak her. Become her.

Listen to the full podcast episode here.