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How to Heal After a Breakup

Writer's picture: High Value WomanHigh Value Woman

Healing After a Breakup: My Journey and 3 Steps to Reclaiming Peace


Breakups are never easy. They can feel like a whirlwind of emotions—heartbreak, confusion, loss, and even anger. I recently went through my own breakup, and I want to share what I’ve learned just two months into my healing journey. It’s been an emotional ride, but also one of incredible growth and rediscovery.


When the relationship ended, I felt completely lost. Everything I had envisioned and planned seemed to fall apart. The emotions came in waves: sadness, disbelief, and even moments of guilt. But one thing became clear—this was an opportunity to look inward, to truly heal from the inside out, and to reclaim my sense of self-worth.


Here are the three steps I’ve taken to help me move forward and find peace. If you’re navigating your own breakup, I hope these steps can help you too.


1. Allow Yourself to Grieve


The biggest game-changer for me was allowing myself to grieve. If you’d like to hear more about this, check out episode 16 of my podcast, Breakups Are a B*tch, and episode 21, Permission to Grieve.


When my breakup happened, it was the Friday before Thanksgiving, and I chose to end the relationship because I didn’t want to stay just to “get through the holidays.” Facing the season alone was difficult, but it also taught me valuable lessons about honoring my emotions.


During those weeks, I let myself feel everything. I cried when I needed to cry. I journaled my thoughts and allowed myself to miss him, even though I knew he wasn’t right for me. Giving myself permission to grieve wasn’t about being weak—it was about being real. I even set a deadline for myself: I gave myself until December 31st to grieve as deeply as I needed, but starting January 1st, I committed to focusing on moving forward. That decision gave me the space to process my pain while also setting a clear boundary for myself.


Grieving is a deeply personal process, and it’s okay to feel lost or heartbroken. Find a safe space where you can express your emotions, whether that’s with a trusted friend, a therapist, or through journaling. Speaking of journaling, if writing in a notebook feels daunting, try typing your thoughts or recording a voice memo. The key is to process your emotions in whatever way resonates most with you.


2. Reconnect with Yourself


After a breakup, it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost a part of who you are. I realized that my identity had become so intertwined with the relationship that I needed to rediscover myself. I began revisiting hobbies I loved, like hiking and singing. I started spending more time in nature, exploring new places, and even taking myself on weekly solo dates. For example, I recently treated myself to sushi at a new restaurant and it reminded me how much I enjoy trying new things.


If you haven’t taken yourself on a solo outing in a while, I encourage you to start. Explore a museum, hike a new trail, or try a restaurant you’ve never been to. These experiences are not just about having fun—they’re about reconnecting with your passions and building a healthy relationship with yourself.


Another way to reconnect with yourself is by creating a vision board. I keep mine in front of my computer as a daily reminder of my goals and dreams. Whether it’s a picture of the house I want to buy, the TED Talk I plan to give this year, or my aspirations as a singer, these images help me stay focused and inspired.


Reconnecting with yourself is about investing in your growth and rediscovering the things that make you feel alive.


3. Prioritize Personal Growth and Stop Dating Temporarily


This step is critical, and I’m going to get on my soapbox for a moment because I’ve lived through the consequences of not doing it. For many years, I was incredibly codependent. From the ages of 16 to 44, I was either in a relationship, getting out of one, or getting into another. I never took downtime in between relationships to just be with myself because I didn’t know how to be alone. And here’s the hard truth: when we don’t stop to self-reflect, we end up making the same mistakes with different people.


Whether your relationship lasted two weeks, two decades, or somewhere in between, you need to pause. The length of that pause might depend on how long and intense the relationship was, but regardless of the timeline, commit to stepping away from dating entirely. Delete the apps. Stop entertaining men. Don’t give out your number or agree to a drink. Create a space where you’re not distracted by the idea of someone new. This isn’t about punishing yourself—it’s about giving yourself the gift of clarity and healing.


During my most recent breakup, I chose to spend two months almost entirely alone. As an extrovert, this was a surprising decision for me, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed. This period of solitude allowed me to get honest with myself and to examine my patterns. I asked myself tough questions: What about me was drawn to that person? What void from my past was I trying to fill with them? How can I fill that void within myself instead?


By taking this time to reflect, I uncovered new insights about myself and shifted the direction of my life and business. That’s the beauty of prioritizing personal growth—it allows you to heal deeply and make better choices in the future.


Finding Strength in the Journey


While I’m still on this journey, I can confidently say that healing is possible. Breakups can feel like the end of the world, but they can also be a new beginning—a chance to grow, to learn, and to build a deeper connection with yourself.

If you’re going through a breakup, know that you’re not alone. Take things one step at a time, and be gentle with yourself. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but every small step you take is a victory.


Remember, this is your time to rediscover your strength, to reclaim your peace, and to step into the next chapter of your life with confidence and clarity. You’ve got the power.


This post included three of the 10 tips to healing from a breakup. Get your free download today and start healing from your breakup - https://www.highvaluewoman.info/free.

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