I'll admit it, I'm a recovering perfectionist and I expect more of myself than I do of others. I've always pushed myself hard and I have struggled to know when to cut myself a break. I think that some of the drive to be successful is a reaction to my mother never amounting to much. I don't want to leave this world without a legacy that I made a difference. I don't want to be perceived as a taker and someone who took advantage of others.
My mom moved through life wearing rose colored glasses and on the coattails of others. In my opinion, she didn't earn her keep in this world and merely tried to benefit from others' success. It left a bad taste in my mouth from an early age and I have vowed never to be like her. Over the years I watched her beg for money from family members. She never asked me -- I think she knew I wouldn't give it to her. She would make a lot of excuses as to why she couldn't work or didn't last long in a job. Even after receiving a large sum of money after my father's death, she couldn't seem to hold on to that either. If she had paid off the house in Virginia and invested the money, it could have lasted her the rest of her life. Instead, she sold the Virginia home and bought another one in Pennsylvania. She replaced everything and bought all new furniture instead of being frugal and keeping what she had. All of the money was gone within 2-3 years. I had no sympathy for her since she had made many bad financial choices and I felt she had to live with them.
As I try to reach a balance between being successful but not overdoing it, I had to manage my expectations of myself. I recently realized I was overbooking my time so I made the decision to resign from a committee at the local Chamber of Commerce. I need to weigh what networking activity will give me the best bang for my buck. As I connect more with people all around the world which gives me international exposure, I've had to cut back on my local activities. It's been a hard adjustment since I've always prided myself on being able to handle a crazy busy schedule. As I get older, I realize that it's' okay to have time to do things I enjoy.
Finding balance hasn't been easy since I'm juggling school, a start up business, regular exercise and a social life. I've been getting overwhelmed and tired more often lately which is definitely a sign that I need to make some choices and cut back. At first, I felt like a failure since I couldn't be super woman, but I had to allow myself the gift of time to keep my sanity.
Do you tend to overcommit in your life? Is there something that you can let go of to give yourself some breathing room in your day? Is it time to manage your expectations and bring some sanity into your life?
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