Unveiling the Truth: Overcoming Sexual Abuse and Finding Your Voice

In today’s world, many women continue to struggle with the trauma of sexual abuse and betrayal, often in silence. It’s a painful reality, but it is a reality that must be brought into the light. In this episode of You Have the Power: The Road to Recovery from Trauma and Narcissistic Abuse, we hear from Beth Brunk, a woman who has endured years of abuse, and who now uses her voice to help others heal.

Beth’s journey is one of immense pain, self-forgiveness, and faith-driven healing. We’ll unpack some of her powerful insights on overcoming betrayal, healing from sexual abuse, and ultimately finding the strength to reclaim your life.

A Marriage Built on Lies and Abuse

Beth’s story begins in a deeply religious environment where divorce was seen as a sin. Raised in the Old German Baptist Brethren faith, she was taught that divorce was wrong, and no matter what, marriage was sacred and unbreakable. But what Beth didn’t know when she married at 20 was that her marriage would quickly become a battleground of sexual betrayal, emotional manipulation, and years of trauma.

Her husband struggled with a severe pornography addiction, which led to repeated sexual abuse throughout their marriage. Beth recounts the horror of being raped by her husband, who at times would act with no regard for her well-being. The pain she felt wasn’t only emotional but also physical—tightness in her chest, swirling thoughts, and the emotional toll of trickle disclosures, where the truth about her husband's actions slowly came to light over the years.

Beth didn’t feel she could leave. She was stuck in a system that told her that divorce was not an option. But deep down, she knew something had to change. In her own words, "I wanted the pain I had been carrying since my wedding night, when he 'did his thing' and rolled over to sleep, to disappear." She just wanted to breathe again.

The Struggle to Heal and the Pain of Silence

The trauma Beth experienced wasn’t just physical. The emotional toll left her feeling alone and isolated, unable to talk openly about her experiences. In fact, when they sought counseling, the advice given was nothing short of appalling. Beth was told that the way to fix her husband’s pornography addiction was for her to have sex with him more—multiple times a day if necessary. This victim-blaming advice left her feeling trapped, alone, and misunderstood.

Beth shares how the religious and patriarchal teachings of her community only compounded her sense of guilt. She was told to focus on fixing the issues in her marriage, rather than confronting the abuse head-on. “I was victim shamed. I was the one held accountable,” she said, reflecting on the damaging advice she received from a minister in her church.

Despite the overwhelming pain, Beth knew that something needed to change, not just for her, but for her children as well. Over the years, she began to realize that healing wasn’t just about surviving her circumstances—it was about taking back her power and her voice.

Finding Faith and Freedom in the Midst of Pain

Beth’s healing process was not easy, but it was rooted in her faith. While her beliefs evolved over time, she found strength in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. She shares how her understanding of the Bible changed in 2004, and how that led her to adopt new beliefs about marriage, divorce, and healing. “God hates the abuse that leads up to divorce,” she says. "He wants us to be in relationships that are healthy, not abusive."

Her faith gave her the courage to finally leave an abusive marriage that was destroying her. But leaving wasn’t the end of her journey—it was the beginning of a long road to reclaiming herself and her life.

Beth continues to do the work every day. She recognizes that full healing may not happen in this lifetime, but she is committed to breaking generational trauma and breaking free from the patterns of abuse that were passed down. Her healing process included daily prayer, self-care, journaling, and confronting her emotions—everything that helped her regain her sense of self-worth.

The Power of Self-Forgiveness and Rebuilding Relationships

Beth also shares the powerful, painful, but ultimately freeing process of self-forgiveness. She recognizes that the trauma she experienced impacted her relationships with her children. She regrets staying in the marriage for as long as she did, as her children were subjected to abuse that could have been avoided.

But over time, she has worked to rebuild her relationships with her children. Her daughter, for example, initially cut ties with her when Beth was still married. It wasn’t until Beth made the decision to leave that they began to heal and rebuild their bond. Beth says, “My children, especially my daughter, have started to see me as a human being. Not just their mother, but as a person who was doing the best I could with the tools I had at the time.”

This process of rebuilding relationships hasn’t been easy, but it’s been transformative. Beth says that as a mother, she now recognizes how much her children were impacted by her staying in an abusive marriage and the emotional toll that took on them. But she’s also hopeful for the future, as she sees the changes in her two younger children who are growing up in a healthier, more stable environment.

Helping Other Women Heal: Beth's Coaching Approach

Beth’s personal experience has led her to coaching, where she now helps other women navigate the complexities of betrayal, sexual abuse, and trauma recovery. She offers a safe space for women to confront their pain, find self-compassion, and ultimately reclaim their power.

One of the things Beth emphasizes is the importance of self-care. She believes that women who have endured abuse often lose sight of themselves while caring for everyone else around them. “We have to get back to the basics of self-care. Journaling, prayer, sitting with our emotions—all of these are tools for healing,” she explains.

Beth’s coaching also includes group coaching, where women can find strength in knowing that they are not alone. “When women hear other women’s stories, it helps them to heal,” she says. “It’s empowering to know that others have been through similar struggles and are still standing.”

Reclaiming Your Voice

Beth’s story is a testament to the strength and resilience of women who have survived the worst that life has thrown at them. It’s also a reminder that healing is possible, even in the face of extreme adversity. If you’re struggling with betrayal trauma or abuse, know that you are not alone, and there is hope for healing.

Beth’s message is clear: you have the power to reclaim your life, your voice, and your freedom. You don’t have to stay in an abusive situation. You can choose to heal, and you can choose to rebuild your life on your own terms.